Foreword
I r i s h P r o v e r b
There are more than enough books on parenting. That was one of the
few things I was certain of when I set out to write this book. A father of eight
and grandfather of twenty-two, I have had ample opportunities to experience
parenting in action, and I sense that what today’s parents lack most is
not expertise or ideas, but daring. They simply lack the courage to put their
children first.
As we enter a new millennium, we stand at a crossroads. On the one
hand, prosperity and progress have benefited many; on the other, millions
are trapped in situations of homelessness and unemployment, starvation and
disease. The split is not only an economic one. Evils such as racism, violence,
and neglect affect people on both sides of the divide.
In general, the forces that transformed society so rapidly over the last generation
continue to change it at such a rate that it is anyone’s guess what the
world will look like in even a decade or two. But one would have to be extremely
naive to predict that it will be a safer or happier place for children.
A book on parenting can’t change the world. But parents and teachers
can – by saving each child entrusted to them. And that’s why I have decided,
in this book, to offer you the encouragement of others who have “been
there.” Whether single, married, or divorced, whether comfortable or struggling,
these people have children of their own or work with children, and the
wisdom reflected in their stories is rooted in the realities of daily life. But it is
also born of hope. Because no matter how dark the horizon seems, we must
never forget that for us, as for children, a new millennium – and the chance
for a new start – begins every morning.
R i f t o n , N e w Y o r k
M a y 2 0 0 0
1. The Trap of Indifference
E l i e W i e s e l
When Susan and Nick decided to start a family, they were both working
full-time jobs, but try as they might, their combined income simply “didn’t
go the whole distance.” Savings were out of the question – after the bills were
paid, there was never enough to put anything aside. On top of that, Nick’s job
carried no medical insurance, and Susan’s no maternity leave. Still, they were
determined to have a baby. So they did.
Not surprisingly the couple found little sympathy at work. Nick describes
himself as “just a regular family man working hard,” but says he was treated
“like a welfare cheat.” As for Susan, she was asked, “Couldn’t you have planned
a little further ahead?” No one was openly cruel, but no one was happy for
them either, and as time went on, this indifference came to hurt more deeply
than anything that might have been said.
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